Dave Barry
sitemanagerPeople who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
Kahlil Gibran
Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.
Aldous Huxley
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
George Orwell
Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.
Leonardo da Vinci
Anyone who invokes authors in discussion is not using his intelligence but his memory.
Nachman of Bratslav
Don't ask God to change the laws of nature for you.
Baltasar Gracian
Don't take the wrong side of an argument just because your opponent has taken the right side.
Groucho Marx
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Christopher Morley
Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting.
Bruce Lee
I'm a philosophy major. That means I can think deep thoughts about being unemployed.
C.S. Lewis
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.
Oscar Wilde
It is only about things that do not interest one, that one can give a really unbiased opinion; and this is no doubt the reason why an unbiased opinion is…
Daniel Webster
The contest for ages has been to rescue liberty from the grasp of executive power.
Franklin Jones
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Francis David
We need not think alike to love alike.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Our best thoughts come from others.
Harvey Fierstein
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Fidel Castro
A revolution is a struggle to the death between the future and the past.
George Bernard Shaw
Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
Winston Churchill
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Isaac Newton
If I have ever made any valuable discoveries, it has been owing more to patient attention, than to any other talent.
Bertrand Russell
Many people would sooner die than think. In fact they do.
Henry Kissinger
Diplomacy...the art of restraining power.
Helen Keller
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
Henry Mencken
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
Richard Lamm
Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want and their kids pay…
Samuel Adams
If ever time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its…
Albert Einstein
Information is not knowledge.
Rita Rudner
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Dave Barry
It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent.
Victor Hugo
Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
Benjamin Franklin
The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.
Winston Churchill
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
Homer Simpson
English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
Adlai Stevenson
Freedom is not an ideal, it is not even a protection, if it means nothing more than freedom to stagnate, to live without dreams, to have no greater aim than…
Bill Cosby
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.
Steve Martin
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
Ansel Adams
There are always two people in every picture: the photographer and the viewer.
Fran Lebowitz
I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
Ernest Hemingway
My aim is to put down on paper what I see and what I feel in the best and simplest way.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Beware how you take away hope from another human being.
Winston Churchill
Americans can always be counted on to do the right thing...after they have exhausted all other possibilities.
Marcus Tullius Cicero
No sane man will dance.
George Washington
Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and…
Ogden Nash
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
Edmund Burke
He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill. Our antagonist is our helper.
C.S. Lewis
Experience proves this, or that, or nothing, according to the preconceptions we bring to it.
Woody Allen
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Confucius
Learning without thought is labor lost.
Edmund Burke
Bad laws are the worst sort of tyranny.
Plato
The soul of man is immortal and imperishable.
Theodore Roosevelt
A typical vice of American politics is the avoidance of saying anything real on real issues.
Abraham Lincoln
If you are resolutely determined to make a lawyer of yourself, the thing is more than half done already.
Thomas Jefferson
There is no act, however virtuous, for which ingenuity may not find some bad motive.
C.S. Lewis
Atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning...
George Eliot
He was like a cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow.
Britney Spears
Just because I look sexy on the cover of Rolling Stone doesn't mean I'm naughty.
Dave Barry
There are no seeing eye cats, of course, because the sole function of cats, in the Great Chain of Life, is to cause harm to human beings.
George Patton
War is an art and as such is not susceptible of explanation by fixed formula.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, But beautiful old people are works of art.
Nachman of Bratslav
A man's drive for profit should be prompted by the desire to give charity.
Martin Luther King Jr.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
C.S. Lewis
The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is.
Victor Hugo
Civil war? What does that mean? Is there any foreign war? Isn't every war fought between men, between brothers?
Quentin Tarantino
If I've made it a little easier for artists to work in violence, great! I've accomplished something.
Ronald Reagan
There are no such things as limits to growth, because there are no limits on the human capacity for intelligence, imagination and wonder.
Will Rogers
When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.
GK Chesterton
These are the days when the Christian is expected to praise every creed except his own.
Charles Dickens
A loving heart is the truest wisdom.
C.S. Lewis
If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.
Steven Wright
I broke a mirror the other day. I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Hada Bejar
The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Whoever despises himself still respects himself as one who despises.
Author Unknown
Stupid people surround themselves with smart people. Smart people surround themselves with smart people who disagree with them.
John Wayne
Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.
Saul Bellow
Whoever wants to reach a distant goal must take small steps.
C.S. Lewis
Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives. детская стоматология москва
Chapman Cohen
Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense. san diego plastic surgery
Mae West
A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.
Winston Churchill
Dogs look up to you. Cats look down on you. Pigs treat you like equals.
Author Unknown
Home is where you come when you run out of places.