Mark Twain
sitemanagerWater, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Mark Twain
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I…
Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
Mark Twain
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend…
Mark Twain
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
Mark Twain
Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.
Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
Mark Twain
Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
Mark Twain
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
Mark Twain
Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way.
Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.
Mark Twain
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.
Mark Twain
Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own.
Mark Twain
Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
Mark Twain
Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
Mark Twain
Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
Mark Twain
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
Mark Twain
Happiness is a Swedish sunset; it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it.
Mark Twain
The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
Mark Twain
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.
Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. limo service los angeles
Mark Twain
Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of…
Mark Twain
I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend…
Mark Twain
Your faith is what you believe, not what you know.
Mark Twain
Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the…
Mark Twain
When angry count to four; when very angry, swear.
Mark Twain
George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie.
Mark Twain
With ignorance and arrogance, success is assured.
Mark Twain
Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Mark Twain
Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Mark Twain
The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
Mark Twain
It is by the goodness of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
Mark Twain
It is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.
Mark Twain
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
Mark Twain
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Mark Twain
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
Mark Twain
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Mark Twain
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
Mark Twain
Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it.
Mark Twain
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion, other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.
Mark Twain
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
Mark Twain
I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
Mark Twain
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
Mark Twain
It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
Mark Twain
Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies.
Mark Twain
The problem is not that we have too many fools, it's that the lightning isn't distributed right.
Mark Twain
Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
Mark Twain
A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
Mark Twain
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.
Mark Twain
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
Always do right - this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Mark Twain
Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
Mark Twain
Familiarity breeds contempt - and children.
Mark Twain
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
Mark Twain
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
Mark Twain
I can live for two months on a good compliment.
Mark Twain
History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme.
Mark Twain
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Mark Twain
The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places.
Mark Twain
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.
Mark Twain
It is noble to be good; it is still nobler to teach others to be good - and less trouble.
Mark Twain
We are discreet sheep; we wait to see how the drove is going, and then go with the drove.
Mark Twain
If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
Mark Twain
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
Mark Twain
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -- you see, I have friends in both places.
Mark Twain
There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
Mark Twain
Suppose you were an idiot...and suppose you were a member of Congress...but I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand times.