Homer Simpson
sitemanagerEnglish? Who needs that? I'm never going to England.
Homer Simpson
If he's so smart, how come he's dead?
Homer Simpson
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
Homer Simpson
I'm not popular enough to be different.
Homer Simpson
Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.
Homer Simpson
I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode! I…
Homer Simpson
When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing.…
Homer Simpson
No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed.
Homer Simpson
Look, all I'm saying is, if these big stars didn't want people going through their garbage and saying they're gay, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively.
Homer Simpson
If God didn't want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat?
Homer Simpson
I'm not normally a religious man, but if you're up there, save me, Superman!
Homer Simpson
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use.
Homer Simpson
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.
Homer Simpson
What is a wedding? Webster's dictionary defines a wedding as 'the process of removing weeds from one's garden.'
Homer Simpson
I'm like that guy who single-handedly built the rocket & flew to the moon! What was his name? Apollo Creed?
Homer Simpson
I've got more trophies than Wayne Gretzky & The Pope combined!
Homer Simpson
Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.