George Burns
sitemanagerToo bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
Thomas Edison
I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.
Saint Augustine
Unless you believe, you will not understand.
Theodore Roosevelt
The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.
Charlie Chaplin
A day without laughter is a day wasted.
Martin Luther King Jr.
Rarely do we find men who willingly engage in hard, solid thinking. There is an almost universal quest for easy answers and half-baked solutions.
George Bernard Shaw
Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!
Ambrose Bierce
Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Theodore Roosevelt
This country will not be a good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a good place for all of us to live in.
C.S. Lewis
Everything except God has some natural superior; everything except unformed matter has some natural inferior.
Dorothy Parker
I don't care what is written about me, so long as it isn't true.
Bill Clinton
A lot of places can be the wrong place at the wrong time.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
It is the province of knowledge to speak and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.
Robert Heinlein
Sex without love is merely healthy exercise.
Niels Bohr
Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future.
John Andrew Holmes
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
Clarence Darrow
We know life is futile. A man who considers that his life is of very wonderful importance is awfully close to a padded cell.
Richard Nixon
As far as I am concerned now, I have no enemies in the press whatsoever.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Talk not of wasted affection; affection never was wasted.
C.S. Lewis
The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles, but to irrigate deserts.
Winston Churchill
War is a game that is played with a smile. If you can't smile, grin. If you can't grin, keep out of the way 'til you can.
Kevin Smith
You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you.
Dave Barry
I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's…
Thomas Edison
Hell, there are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something.
John Adams
It must be felt that there is no national security but in the nation's humble acknowledged dependence upon God and His overruling providence.
John F. Kennedy
The greater our knowledge increases the more our ignorance unfolds.
John F. Kennedy
For in the final analysis, our most basic common link, is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's futures,…
George Carlin
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in the oposite direction.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Bill Cosby
The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.
Tom Hopkins
I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed; and the number of times I succeed is in direct proportion…
Margaret Bourke-White
Saturate yourself with your subject and the camera will all but take you by the hand.
Ambrose Bierce
Wedding: a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
Oscar Wilde
Those whom the gods love grow young.
GK Chesterton
The only right way of telling a story is to begin at the beginning--at the beginning of the world. Therefore all books have to be begun in the wrong way…
Ronald Reagan
If we ever forget that we are One Nation Under God, then we will be a Nation gone under.
Margaret Thatcher
Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.
Robert Frost
A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Don't be ''consistent'' but be simply true.
Margaret Thatcher
A world without nuclear weapons would be less stable and more dangerous for all of us.
Author Unknown
The truth is always a trick to those who live among lies.
Steven Wright
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Andre Gide
There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.
Ambrose Bierce
Ocean: A body of water occupying 2/3 of a world made for man...who has no gills.
Dave Barry
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
Alexis de Tocqueville
Those that despise people will never get the best out of others and themselves.
John Lennon
You won't get anything unless you have the vision to imagine it.
Carl Jung
Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk.
Samuel Adams
Our contest is not only whether we ourselves shall be free, but whether there shall be left to mankind an asylum on earth for civil and religious liberty.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Rings and jewels are not gifts but apologies for gifts. The only true gift is a portion of yourself.
Dwight Eisenhower
I deplore the need or the use of troops anywhere to get American citizens to obey the orders of constituted courts.
Fran Lebowitz
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
Benjamin Franklin
Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Winston Churchill
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has no heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Albert Einstein
If A is a success in life, than A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.
Victor Hugo
I met in the street a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, his cloak was out at the elbows, the water…
Ed Gardner
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire)
Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.
Oscar Wilde
More than half modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read.
Winston Churchill
It is hard, if not impossible, to snub a beautiful woman - they remain beautiful and the rebuke recoils.
Dwight Eisenhower
There is one thing about being President, no one can tell you when to sit down.
Elbert Hubbard
Everything comes too late for those who only wait.
Roger Ebert
No matter what they're charging to get in, it's worth more to get out.
Milton Friedman
Underlying most arguments against the free market is a lack of belief in freedom itself.
Jack Handey
Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the STILTS? It probably lasts longer, plus it moves around.
Christopher Morley
Act like you expect to get into the end zone.
Martin Farquhar Tupper
A good book is the best of friends, the same to-day and for ever.
Dave Barry
I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at…
Steve Martin
Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
George Bernard Shaw
Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I have got a hold of for the moment, and I want to make it…
Quentin Tarantino
I don't think there's anything to be afraid of. Failure brings great rewards -- in the life of an artist.
Kahlil Gibran
Time has been transformed, and we have changed; it has advanced and set us in motion; it has unveiled its face, inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration.
Mahatma Gandhi
My life is my message.
Dwight Eisenhower
Few women, I fear, have had such reason as I have to think the long sad years of youth were worth living for the sake of middle age.
George Washington
The marvel of all history is the patience with which men and women submit to burdens unnecessarily laid upon them by their governments.
D.H. Lawrence
We've got to live. No matter how many skies have fallen.
Tacitus
It belongs to human nature to hate those you have injured.
Francois Marie Arouet (Voltaire)
If God has created us in His image, we have more than returned the compliment.
Sigmund Freud
America is a mistake, a giant mistake.
Gene Brown
Accept good advice gracefully--as long as it doesn't interfere with what you intended to do in the first place.
Nicolo Machiavelli
War should be the only study of a prince.