A possessive person is like a green-eyed monster, and it can lead to dangerous behavior in those who lack enough self-control to avoid violence toward someone they see as a romantic rival. In the end, we are all alone. When allowed to develop and left unresolved, possessiveness on the part of your partner can lead you to feel deeply anxious, unhappy, and angry. A little possessiveness is normal in every relationship. If a person fails to get proper attention in his childhood he wishes to fulfill that scarcity from their close when they grow up. 11 12 13. If so, then apply the timely break on your behavior to save your relationship from getting crashed. It is a natural reaction of every human being and exists in every person to an extent. He may not even lag behind from showing up his anger or distastefulness to your style and may even force you what you should wear when you are either moving out to attend parties or with your friends. This does not imply that possession of any kind will cause discontentment of some kind but the attachment to that possession will cause it. How to cure and how can someone know their limit when they don't even know what's that they are doing and why? This is welcome but each of the partners are equally responsible for family expenses. He may not be comfortable with the idea of visiting your family very often. Do not include your name, "with regards" etc in the comment. Possessive partners may also disrespect … He may call you several times in a day to find out about your whereabouts. All in all fear lies at the root cause of possessiveness. Even our body itself represents a possession, since it is occupied by our soul. Top Answer . In a relationship, healthy insecurity and possessiveness are not uncommon, nor are they a cause for worry. But how can you differentiate between healthy and unhealthy jealousy in a relationship? There's a fine line between jealousy and possessiveness, and it's important to keep yourself in check. It is not essential that if we like someone we also trust that person. You need to have friends, colleagues, relatives in your life so that your life moves on smoothly. It reflects the injured and degraded self esteem of that person. This site is free and open to everyone, but our registered users get extra privileges like commenting, and voting. This feeling could cause possessiveness.Signs of possessiveness in menHuman beings by nature is possessive but it is the degrees of possessiveness that matters the most. At times we like a person but we don’t trust him therefore we start behaving possessively since we are afraid of losing that person. To an extent this comes under the tag of OK because maybe he is doing so because of the amount of love he has for you. Disrespect is often a sign of a possessive relationship. You can call it a manic ailment. Thanks a bunch. Jealousy and possessiveness are often considered the same thing. You have every right to love others around you irrespective of the fact whether one is your friend, sister, boyfriend, girlfriend etc. Giving away your possessions does lead to this goal, instead it requires giving away of attachment and conquering the biggest enemy in this way that is, desire. You should try to live a complete life by concentrating on other things which does not revolve around between you and your partner. Be Mine: Dealing with Possessiveness in a Relationship. The moment the level of possessiveness goes beyond the normal level it takes serious turns and sometimes even breaks the relationship. However, if you find your boyfriend or man to be too much possessive about you it would be wise in your part to think about the relationship twice before you move along. Possessiveness is a common relationship problem among young and older adults and being a possessive partner is something people in relationships should avoid. It is a symptom of the weak inner strength of that person. If you feel that your appearance isn’t as good as another coworker, then you may buy new clothes and feel encouraged to do more. A person who is possessive about his belongings fears to share his things with others even not with a family member. Thank you. Similar is the case in relationships is you try to dominate and take control you yourself are pushing that person away from you. They get over addicted to a special person because they fear losing that person or his/ her attention. Absolutely no spam allowed. This further splits the relationship into parts. In marriage what is yours is theirs and what is theirs is yours. What is more important is that you still love him/her. Agree with most of the answers… Have you ever seen a MATURE, emotionally stable, high self esteemed n confident person being over possessive? To love someone is to let that person free. Every individual has its individuality and when that individuality is in danger no one can sit back because it is only thing that he cannot afford to lose, a thing shall remain with him as long as he is alive. Never leave the way you used to live before your relationship. Jealousy is always with a person and not thing while possessiveness can be for a thing or a person. This is the fear of the loss of that possession through some means. Jealousy is a different emotion. Get clarity from our astrology experts and psychics. But no, she would be having her own explanations that her money is meant to be saved and it is only the you who needs to handle all the expenses. He demands proper explanation about the people you are meeting and what for. If one could do so then almost 90 percent of the problems would solve and many hearts would be saved from crashing. Here are some sign of possessiveness of men which you need to take notice off:He involves too much in your social life. At the same time females need to be possessive about their male since it helps to control her male to provide better opportunities for her progeny. The green-eyed monster, as Shakespeare called it, can camp in your head at any time during a relationship: when you are madly in love, when you are snugly attached, even when you dislike your partner. Sometimes, a little effort from your side would go a long way to service your relationship longer.Meditation is a good and approved way to get relieved from such a situation. What is possessiveness?While you keep your emotions under your control everything works out fine for you. Things may become worse if a female colleague happens to give you a call for some important matter to discuss. He may call you several times in a day to find out about your whereabouts. Here are given some important tips to overcome possessiveness:You need to realize your limit and do a proper analysis of your behavior to find out if you are getting too much possessive by nature. Many are and it can become a problem that repeats itself over and over damaging the relationship beyond saving. Things may not end here as she would like to check you mobile, messages and even mails. I remember narrating an interesting story of a nun. Human beings are possessive by nature but when this possessiveness gets out of control things get beyond repair. Gradually, over a period of time it is certainly going to help you by tranquilizing your mind. In fact, it is essential for two people involved in a romantic relationship to be a bit possessive about each other. Speak to yourself and say that you trust your partner and have full faith on him/her. To reach this state it is essential to understand that possession of any king brings in panic of some kind. But no, she would be having her own explanations that her money is meant to be saved and it is only the you who needs to handle all the expenses. Thank you. Love is not insane to keep a person bound to the whims and moods of anyone. Lack of trust is one among them. Trust is the foundation upon which a relationship stands. It will help you come to terms with your issue and conquer it, which in turn will make you feel better and will help future relationships. She wants you to agree to her point of view irrespective of the fact whether you like it or not. Superficially it may not seem to be dangerous for anyone. Every day she used to burn incense in front of that statue and worship Lord Buddha. The person takes him to be the master of that thing or being. But if we ponder over it, it is devastating for the personality of that person. Nobody in this world is a personal property. This person doubts the other out of his or her own negative feelings and, as a result, will become consumed with jealousy. This is welcome but each of the partners are equally responsible for family expenses. They don’t respect your personal boundaries. Such people work for no personal intension but for the society and the people around him. If you love someone, you would fall into him. She used to wander day and night and crossed numerous cities in search of enlightenment. He may advise you harshly to be away with them since because he does not like them. If you disagree with her then she may even want to punish you mentally by not responding to your queries.She may want to hand over your salary to her so that she could spend it in the family expenses. Possessiveness indicates a manic state of mind in which a person cannot accept to share the things or person about which/ whom he is obsessed. Desires have no endings and the more one desires the more one becomes possessive. Lack of trust in a relationship causes severe problems in the relationship. It’s estimated that less than 0.1 percent of people have the disorder.. It adds an element of spice to the relationship and shows that your partner really cares about you. Whether it’s a fear from a past relationship, or even something that happened in childhood, you need to figure out what is causing you to feel and act this way. Though possessiveness is there in each of us but it would be better to realize it by a cool mind and take the self-correction steps to overcome it. People who are in relationships need to give their partners some amount of space so that within that space the other partner grooms and matures. Possessiveness can be about anything around even a being. It’s human instinct to become possessive about someone we truly love. She carried along with her a wooden statue of Buddha which she carved herself. This article on possessiveness is surely not helping! Try to concentrate on the other important affairs of life or occupy yourself with some positive hobby so that you can devote some quality time on yourself which is going to serve your purpose very well.Give some valuable time and space to your partner so that he/she understands the value of your lovely relationship rather than trying to dominate the other and exerting your supremacy. 20 09. Simple things like checking one's mail, messages and phone contacts should be avoided. Human beings are possessive by nature but when this. They sabotage. Tips to overcome possessiveness are the hot topic of the day and a perfect one to dig into if you have a possessive partner or have been told you’re a bit on the possessive side yourself. But this is a need no one can ever be freed from the basic amenities even not a nude monk. This adds fuel to the fire.Hidden fears: Possessiveness can also be because of some unknown hidden fear in the minds. Attachment is just the superficial emotion that gives the wrong idea of love. You should try to live a complete life by concentrating on other things which does not revolve around between you and your partner. If your partner is the possessive type, you might have many reasons to be concerned, both for your safety and for the health of your relationship. Fantasy Bond, Relationship Problems, Relationships By Lisa Firestone, Ph.D. How to Create a More Equal and Trusting Relationship. Once upon a time there was a nun, follower of Buddha. Valuable tips for keeping possessiveness in check, especially for those who get overly bothered in little things. Possessive individuals may make negative comments toward you or about ex-partners. Had she not worried about the smell of the incense reaching up to every statue, she wouldn’t have made her statue look ugly by her hands. It’s no surprise studies have shown that jealousy and surveillance behaviors we often associate with possessiveness lead to relationship dissatisfaction and destructive behavior. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. They feel threatened. Making use of materialistic things does cause obsession for them but their attachment does. Try to concentrate on the other important affairs of life or occupy yourself with some positive hobby so that you can devote some quality time on yourself which is going to serve your purpose very well. All in all fear lies at the root cause of possessiveness. This further splits the relationship into parts.Desire: Desire also leads to possessiveness and humans by nature have this element in them from the birth. If you disagree with her then she may even want to punish you mentally by not responding to your queries. Detachment leads you to doorway of paradise and freedom while attachment on the other hand, causes a halt. This is a state of mind where we free ourselves from materialism and the fear of unknown. Model of Nor mative Behavior Jo urnal of So cial, Evolutionary , and Cultural P sychology – ISSN 1 933- 5377 – Volume 3 (4). Great article. It reflects weakness of that person. It is a very dangerous emotion, especially in relationships since if not controlled it can even spoil you equations with the other person. We call it in meditation as observance of detachment. Sometimes, it so happens that without your knowledge you repeat your mistakes and by the time you realize those things go out of your control. This also helps you to live a fresh and happy life. You need to realize your limit and do a proper analysis of your behavior to find out if you are getting too much possessive by nature. Try taking some soil in your hand and make a grip over it. And if we think that we can make that person ours be keeping him with us then we are meddling with the nature. 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